I'm back.

Hello, 

I’m aware that I was supposed to post this 4 days ago, however I got caught up in some things. A guy named David Sohmer from Chicago came to CEM Campus for friday night, saturday, and sunday morning. It was great having a bit of a faster paced conversation and I learned some cool things from him, especially about the silicon chip and how it works. 

Somehow I managed to hear his testimony 3 times in the 2 days he was here. It was inspiring to see him connecting with the kids and community so quickly. He probably had more of the boys names memorized within 20 minutes than I’ve memorized since I got here.

Anyways, not much has happened since I last blogged. This past weekend I didn’t have much time to spend with God but I’m getting back on that schedule now.

A couple of days ago, God gave me another thought. I don’t know if God gave me it, I think he lead me to it which is essentially the same thing. After finishing the book, “A Million Miles In A Thousand Years” by Donald Miller I was left with a question, “How am I suppose to balance the unimportance of my life with the amount of love God has for me?” 

I’m going to copy a page out of Millers book. 

The oldest book of the Bible is supposedly the book of Job. It is a book about suffering, and it reads as though God is saying to the world, Before we get started, there’s this one thing I have to tell you. Things are going to be bad.

Job is a good man whom God allows to be destroyed, except for his life. God allows Job’s family to be taken, along with his wealth and his health. Job calls out to God, asking why God could let this happen.

God does not answer Job’s question. It’s as though God starts off his message to the world by explaining there are painful realities we cannot and will never understand. Instead, he appears to Job in a whirlwind and asks if Job knows who stops the waves on the shore or stores the snow in Wichita every winter. He asks Job who manages the constellations that reel through the night sky. 

And that is essentially all God says to Job. God doesn’t explain pain philosophically or even list its benefits. God says to Job, Job, I know what I’m doing, and this whole thing isn’t about you.

Job responds, even before his health and wealth are restored by saying, “All of this is too wonderful for me.” Job found contentment and even joy, outside the context of comfort, health, or stability. He understood the story was not about him, and he cared more about the story than he did himself. 

Maybe now you understand the question a little better? God has so much love for us that we cannot comprehend it, yet our lives as humans are unimportant. There is a greater story going on that has greater importance. 

For me, reading about Job didn’t answer my question. How can God love us so much, and yet our lives be so unimportant that he can allow everything to be taken away from us?

It wasn’t until I read the quote that Miller uses of Victor Frankl and the verse in the bible that I read when it clicked. Victor Frankl once said, “I am a tree in the story about a forest.”  And the story of the forest is better than the story of the tree.

I think satan wants us to believe that our lives are unimportant. And I think he shoves failure in our face to prove it. And you know what, Satan is right. As humans were are unimportant, but once we accept God into our lives we become a part of the story about the forest. We become a page in the book that defines the forest and tells the story. So it is because of God that we are made important, and it is the recognition of that, that we humble ourselves before him, as Job did. 

The most amazing part about all of this is the unconditional love that God has for us. God has more love for me than he does for everyone else combined. And that’s true for every single person on this earth. You cannot try to understand God’s love, It’s not a human love. 

“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hill side and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off.”

Matthew 18:12

It may be a stretch, but to me this verse gave me an idea of God’s love. He has more love for the one sheep than he does for the ninety-nine. And that can be said for all of them.

All that being said, I’m having an amazing time so far and I’m really being challenged in some areas. 

Right now if you could continue to pray for my health, my family and that God would continue to work in me and reveal himself to me while I’m here.

Thank you so much guys!

Love you all.

~Caleb