I've titled this blog pre flop, which to all of you who have a life and don't play poker, it's a term used to describe the action before the first 3 community cards are turned over. Yes, it's probably sad that my very first blog post has to do with poker, but I thought it was a creative idea and since I rarely have creative ideas I'm going to run with it.
At the moment, I'm not sure what to expect or even how I should be feeling. I'm someone who doesn't typically get excited for something until the minute before it happens, but there is something unusual about what I'm feeling, and if I had to describe this feeling I'd call it disbelief.
My Aunt Laurie was just asking me over the phone how I was feeling and I responded with "surreal". For the past 4 years of my life I've had this crazy idea of going to India, on my own. When I was a freshmen in high school I wanted to go for a year, when I was a sophomore 6 months, junior 4 months, senior 3 months, and I've finally settled for 2 months and 5 days. As I was getting closer and closer to actually leaving for India, the reality started to sink in, I started to realize how hard this trip was going to be on me emotionally, physically, digestively, and mentally. I've always thought, "When the time comes for me to leave, I'll be ready to go." Well it's somehow only 2 days away and I feel like it should be 2 years away so I'm in shock. It's just unbelievable.
Relating this back to poker, right now I'm sitting down with a big stack of chips, holding two decent cards in my hand, just waiting to see what the flop may bring. I know there's going to be some very tough decisions to make as the hand plays out and I may end up losing it all, but you have to take risks in life.
Sometimes you need to stay positive and focus on the good that's going to be coming your way, so I've decided to go through all the things I'm excited to leave behind and I've narrowed it down to my top 2. 1) I'm excited to leave behind the self absorbed, busy lifestyle I'm currently living. I'm excited to have the time to pour out my heart to God and seek him with everything that I am. And 2) I'm so excited to leave behind the toilet that my sister and I share. It has been draining water nonstop and even as I type this, the toilet is crying out for attention. I would say I try and fix it 4-6 times a day, I'v yelled at it on several occasions, I threatened to go get the superintendent, and I even kicked it once. It's driving me insane...
You may be thinking, yeah but aren't you going to miss having a real toilet? Yeah, but I'm also going to miss having protein in my diet and a bed that falls a little more under the definition of a bed. My point is I'm trying to stay positive and have an optimistic view on things. And I know from my 5 previous trips to India, that if you don't think positively and laugh at the little things, you'll end up like my dad at the end of his India trips. Which usually involves yelling at some random Indian because he doesn't have what every human being should have, principle and logic. For example, when you bring two cokes to the wrong room number and realize that they are the wrong people, you quickly correct your mistake and bring to new cokes to the right room number within 5 minutes. Now if for some reason it takes, I don't know, 20, 30, 45 minutes, you need be very apologetic and you better not forget the bottle opener for the cokes. I know this wouldn't happen, but if somehow they forgot the bottle opener for the cokes, you would just naturally adapt to the situation like my dad did. You pick up the bottle, say, "Oh it's really no problem" and then start smashing the bottle into the wood furniture until the top pops off.
I'd like you to know that I'm typically the person who looks forward to these events and laughs hysterically at them.
I'd also like you to know that I do love India and the people it's filled with. If I wasn't in love with these people I wouldn't be sacrificing so much in 2 days.
Please pray that I'll stay healthy, I'll somehow fall in love with Indian food and actually eat some of it, and that God will comfort my mom and dad while I'm gone and take all of their worry away.
My next update will either be on my way to India or once I arrive. Wish me luck!
~Caleb
